~ title here ~ mon. september 21, 2026 (time here)

haii hewwoooo, bloggy !! how are u today? :3 ... yay, good !!! i had a loooong day ... well, kinda i guess. had work at 8 this morning :// tbh was slightlyyyy worried after calling out yesterday but was all fineeee. it was a slow day. which tbh i didn't mind bc i did some tasks that needed to get done - like cleaing off all the syrup bottles + the shelf + wiping down the counter underneath it all. i even took the tops off the thick sauce bottles & washed those cuz they were getting sooo sticky & gross. i was hoping i wouldn't have to stay for my office hours (like who even carezzzz) but then i remembered the guy was coming to clean the taps so i had to stay x__x is okayyyy tho cuz i helped my coworker w some of her tasks while she's out + then i posted new cocktail specials. i figured no one was gonna get it together enough to do anything for the fall season once i'm gone, so i decided to be nice & just have some stuff ready for them. that job fumbled me soooo hard man lolz !!!

got home, smoked, & hung out for a bit w wifey before they had to go to work. ate some leftover chinese food ^_^ now i rlyyyy need to study for work tomorrow but i'm so exhausted & rly don't want to. luckily we won't actually be open for the first 4 hrs i'm there. which kinda makes me not wanna go cuz what the heck LOL but it's fineeeee ~ i'm def gonna see if i can get thurs + fri off but we'll see :/ i desperately need it tho. i feel like i need a couple days to clear my mind from my old job & prepare a new mindset for starting this one. like just give me a DAY to think about NOTHING & i'll be set just right !!!

my american girl doll shipped today YAY YIPPIEEE :DD !!! i'm soo excited for her to get here. i can't wait to have her as my lil best friend :3 im rlyyyy trying hard not to buy too much from the actual american girl store tho so i think im gonna try looking at mercari, etsy, or ebay for some doll clothing for her. i wanna be able to switch out her outfits. like especially if i get any seasonal outfits! it'd be fun to get some from like local or small artists or something.

hmmm ... i think i wish ppl knew more about how i grew up. i think a lot of mistake for someone who comes from a normal home w a normal background - & i think that's why ppl often don't see my mental illness or trauamas "real". so this is something i end up struggling w a lot. i never want to just straight up trauma dump to someone or use my traumas to excuse my behaviors, but i rly wish i could be like "hey u seem to make a lot of assumptions about my personal life so here are all the reasons why u are wrong". i just think a lot of ppl see me as a whiny, sensitive cry baby without even at all trying to get to know me :/ so idk i wish ppl could just know this 1 thing about me & choose to treat me w kindness then! or, at least back off from me a little. idk if this was a good answer but ya ....

ok defff finishing this the next morning bc i passed out last night lolz ... i'll make a better post for today xD baiii bloggy !!!

~ bed rotting day :3 ~ september 20, 2026 (10:16pm)

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁🧚 heewwoooo bloggy !! ermm i did a bad thing today ... & i called out of work >_< i feel like i defff deserve it tho cuz in my yr of being at the cafe, i never called out once - which is HUGE for me! & tbh i'm sooo crabby about having to work alll weekend bc everyone else got the time off for my coworker's wedding. srsly im rly not trying to be a bad sport but it's just soo unfair that i'm always covering for ppl & feeling like i can never take time for myself. i know it wasn't rly a nice thing to call out today. but if they wanna treat me like i'm full time, then they can give me the benefits & sick days & pto!!! then it's on me if i wanna not show up to work ... i will feel bad if it made the day shitty for other ppl, but also ... hey now u all know how i feel all the time >_<
i didn't rly end up doing much w my day besides lazing around xpp i was just paralyzed w so much anxiety. don't feel like finishing out my current job & getting the scaries about my newest job :/ rotted my brain with family guy alll dayyyy. made some rly fun updates to here tho !! also made some discoveries today that have me doubling down on standing up for myself. i truly need to stop letting ppl silence me with the way they bully me. i'm so happy w this corner of the internet im making for myself :3 everyday im learning something new & making this place even cuter!

finally had to drag myself away from here for a bit so i could pick up weed & take a shower. ngl sometimes im rllyyy bad about taking care of myself. then i start to feel rly bad & can't figure out why i feel so bad & don't do anything about it ... then i take a shower & suddenly i feel wayyy better xD def feeling slightly less anxious now that i feel clean. i rly rlyyyy need to get on cleaning my room. ugh being tidy is just something i've always struggled w all my life. i fear for what my house could look like if i lived alone x__x

ok i thought to maybe do a 3rd goal but tbh i'm already overwhelmed w the first 2 ... so i will leave it at that so i can start small! & who knows, maybe behavioral activation will kick in & then i'll feel like doing more cx but i think these are good to start with !! i'm not sure when exactly i'll do them. it's still p up in the air about when i'll be working at my new job. which is like ... kinda anxiety inducing lmfao. oh well tho. i think setting a couple goals for myself a week will help me feel a little less like i'm drowning. maybe there's a way here i can hold myself accountable to them too :o maybe i can add in a section on my home page ... or oh !! maybe i could make a lil weekly journal page !! ooo that could be fun ... i think i may work on that :D

ok bloggy i think dat is it for me tonite. i should go to bed somewhat early tonite for work tomorrow :/ ugh i have to have an exit interview too. slightlyyy worried i'll get shit for calling out today but man whatevz !!! it's probs not as big of a deal as i'm making it out to be. ok need to stop spirarling. goob nite, bloggy ｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡

~ soo eepy tired + rambling ~ september 19, 2026 (09:57pm)

/ᐠ > ˕ <マ ₊˚⊹♡ ohhhh man what a day !!! i am sooo sleepy tired. tbh this may be a short post tonite bc all i wanna do is lay down & pass out x__x first, wifey & i went out for breakfast at our fave local queer diner :D literally the best part about being queer is the community i get to be apart of. the server that works every saturday was there today, of course, & he was just soo fun xD he calls wifey & i "u cuties" & it's just soo sweet. i got the same skillet i always do hehe & manyyy cups of coffee. it was a rainy, gloomy morning so it was rly nice to just chill in the diner for a while. they only had 1 cook working so we def were there for a bit lolz. i think they must rly like us bc wifey always tips like 30%+. ate till my belly was v v full & then we headed home.

had a shift at 2 today, so i made some updates here in the couple hours before my shift. finnallyyyy gonna be able to start reviewing my comics hehe :D the page is turning out so cutie ... i can't wait. literally also can't applaud myself enough for working so hard on this little safe space for myself.

had to go to work then :/ soooo glad this is my last weekend working at the cafe !! today was soo hard. it stayed soo busy right up until 6 pm. it was such a struggle to get anything done. & then my boss + his friends came in for drinks just under an hour before close for drinks ... rahhh so stressful !!! thankfully he didn't notice i accidentally put a lemon peel in his drink when it should have been an orange peel LOLL xD but, one of his friends was rly nice & tipped us $40 + also bought us shots too! thankfully we didn't get out too late either. stopped at the gas station on my way home, got a chickem sammich & a sprite, & now im watching family guy :D Just Girl Tingz hehehe

my body hourt so bad ... this weekend is killing me. i'm trying to be a good sport about working this weekend to cover for my coworkers, but it kinda sucks knowing that i probs won't even get a shout out or anything when i leave. ugh i hate feeling like this at jobs. it feels like i'm always working hard & never getting recognition for it, but literally everybody else does. i never even got like a shout out for my anniversary :/ so i'll probs just be leaving in silence too. whatever i suppose. i'm glad to be getting out. i don't wanna do this anymoreeeee ~~~

PROMPT OF THE DAY ;
~ 3 things that bring me comfort + why ~

ok so this def ended up being longer than i expected LOLZZZ so it is time for me to go to sleep now ... goob nite, bloggy ૮⸝⸝> ﻌ <⸝⸝ა

~ i luv my toys ~ september 18, 2026 (10:28pm)

haiiii owooo hewwo bloggy !! how are u today? ^ . ^ i have been sooo exhausted all day ... i slept in so late. but, to be fair, my head had been hurting sooo bad all night >_< i woke up around like 6 i think? & i took some meds, then fell back asleep until like 9. but it still kinda hurt ughhh so i just said "fuck it" +++ did a dab & went back to sleep until noon. then i had my shift at 1 ugh :// idk if i was just exhausted after all the nerves i experienced yesterday but my body didn't want to move at all. i even had a red bul !! tbh i think it just made me even more tired tho lmfao. & the shift was so so ooooo boring so lowkey i just got drunk by the end of the night xD ahhh im lowkey gonna miss this job. it just sucks cuz like i didn't realize it would be soooo much event planning & i just didn't have enough time to be doing it all w working skeleton shifts. it actually suck so bad having to work the floor alone + also be expected to do all my shift lead duties + also plan multiple events at the same time ... rahhhhhhhhhhhhh

am so so soooo FWEAKING excited bc i got the new girl of the year american girl doll !!! i just hadddd to cuz she's from madison, wi just like meeee hehe xD it literally feeling like fate bc i've been watching a lot of videos of ppl restoring american girl dolls that they've gotten in a resale & i rly rly have been wanting to get one !! i was obsessed w american girl dolls when i was little. i'm soo grateful that my mom went behind my dad's back in getting me american girl dolls. they were just such an important part to me growing up. i can't exactly remember all the dolls that i had, but i know for sure i had samantha, nelly, & nikki! i think i also had a look-alike doll as well. i also had bitty babies too cuz i was obsessedddd w baby dolls growing up. god i hope one day i could get another nelly doll ... how funnn it would be to be melly & nelly heheh :D but ya so daisy will be here by the 28th !! i fear i rly never grew out of luving my toys. i remember struggling a lot when i entered middle school bc i didn't wanna stop playing w my toys but i knew that if ppl at school knew i played w toys ... well it def would be even more over for me than it already was. it's not like i even rly "play" with toys now too, but i do rly like the feeling of companionship w them. when i'm alone & i have to go somewhere or even just being home alone, it's rly nice to have my things that make me feel safe & comfortable. it kinda sucks when ppl take aspects of my personality like that & try to weaponize it against me in some copy cat game. like u don't know me ... i've always luvd my toys & being soft & being a kid at heart. at times it kinda felt like my childhood got ripped away from me bc of the trauma i have so it's nice to try & revist my childhood now. my mom & i talked about going to the american girl doll store together & i just think that would be sooo nice to do together since we kinda got robbed of spending good, quality time together when i was growing up.

man my head is starting to hurt again ... ugh. i shouldn't have been drinking tonight lolz. & it's gonna be a looooong weekend. im kinda hoping that i end up with the day off on tuesday cuz i desperately am gonna need the recharge time. & still a lot of information to learn before then ... i can do it tho i just gotta lock in. i should probably go to bed soon so that maybe my head won't hurt as bad in the morning. should maybe try drinking more water too. but, if i can get up early, i'm gonna do some updates here & then try to go over my work packet before my 2 pm shift. luckily, it's only a 4 hr shift so i can then have some relaxing / self care time for myself when i'm home. ahhh also gotta make sure i get started on cleaning up my room. im kinda a bit of a hoarder & i have sooo many Things. so i think i'm gonna try to get rid of some stuff so that i can make room to display daisy. ahhh just rly need to also start looking at a new place !!! we desperately need to upgrade cuz we (or, i) have lots of things & we just simply are outgrowing our current place. i want to display alllll my Things :DD

PROMPT OF THE DAY ;
~ routines that ground u in fall ~

i'm not sure if this rly falls into a routine category & more of just a tradition, but it's essentiallll for me to go do allll the fall activities. this includes apple picking & carving a pumpkin! idk it just feels so special to me that my wifey & i get to go & do that together. scents are also v important to me during fall. i have to get a fall candle every year - usually something like a v v sweet pumpkin pie. & then of course i have to watch halloween movies. i luv to watch scooby doo movies around this time of year - especially the live action ones. there's also some disney channel original movies i wanna show wifey cuz they have never seen them. like can u even believe that ?! i think last year i showed them phantom of the megaplex so this year we haveee to watch don't look under the bed. i know it's also not rly a halloween movie, but i also keep meaning to show them smart house as well. so ya hehe idk if those are rly "routines" but they are things i like to do in fall that make me happy! & these activities help me w not getting so sad about warm weather going away. summer do be gettting rly hot but i hate being i go outside & just immediately start shivering. hopefully the winter won't be too bad ...

okeee i gotta go to sleep now. i was gonna format this some more but ugh i'm exhausted & my head is rly hurting. so, goob nite bloggy 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆♡⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ

~ ranting about jobs x__X ~ september 17, 2026 (11:30pm)

hewwooo bloggy !! ahh, what a dayyyy. i started my new job :D it's a very different job from what i'm used to ... i've been working in cafes since like 2018 & i've found that i rly rly like the work. i enjoy doing prep work, side tasks, making coffee, making other drinks, & the customers that typically come from it. obvs apart from the assholes here & there. the hard part about working in cafes tho is that it's rly not stable work. owners & management always suck. it's like they just never know what they are doing. then the place gets sold, changes are made, & it's not feasible to stick around any longer. ++ my body hourt all the time. so this new job - it's working at spa. but like ... an iv spa bar type thing. it's kinda a lot to take in lol. & also ... needles. which like i'm obvs not poking anyone w needles & i don't rly interact much w the client while they are getting the treatment, but it's again just v different type of stuff happening. my job is to greet ppl when they come in, reccommend them a treatment (or just check them in), pitch the membership to them, & then close the transaction. so then in order to even know what to help ppl w, i also have to learn all about the vitamins & other stuff we offer for the ivs or injections. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ..... LOLLL. i mean like im excited to give it a shot but i'm also just hella nervous. a couple of the ppl who came in today were def kinda hard to talk to so rahhh i just wanna do a good job !! tuesday will be my 2nd day of training so i'm gonna try to cram as much information into my head until then xD should be easy since i'm not on socials anymore lolz

honestly i'm so proud of myself for being the bigger person ^_^ already today i'm feeling a huge difference. i was able to focus on work today w/out feeling like im missing out on something on socials & it feels good to come home, be in the moment, & update my website :3 i think this is rly gonna help with improving my life. with my new work too i'll rly have to be focus & it's just not something i can goof off at like i can at my current job. if i want to keep myself out of the food service industry, then i need to lock tf in at this new job. i don't want to fall back into old habits of getting caught up in internet drama, not being able to hold down a job, & just generally being a garbge human in my personal life. like im 28 yrs old for goodess sake !!! who wants to live their life like that? not meeeee :3 i also can't waitttt to get back to school now that i'll have a lot more free time. i can't wait to officially learn coding & earn a degree for it & just BE BETTER !!! >:D

wifey made us a yummy dinner, we rotted our brains with some youtube, & now i'm updating my site + watching family guy ⚞^. .^⚟︎ tomorrow starts my loooong weekend at work ugh - but just one more & then i'm DONE !!! in between all that i'll be reviewing all my training info so i'm prepped for tuesday. ermmm that kinda it ... my tummy is suddenly hurting so bad LOL i think i ate too much food after not eating all day x__X i think for the rest of the nite i'll take my time relaxing & practicing self care b4 the weekend. i rlyyyy should start working on my comics page so maybe i'll do some of that ... or i'll just get high & pass out LOLLL but anywayszzzz goob nite bloggy !! ⚞^. .^⚟ ❤︎❤︎❤︎

~ an important letter ~ september 16, 2026 (11:30pm)

u know ... i had a whole thing written out prior to sitting here. it was def reactive, mean, & rly just not at all the person i want to be. so imma just speak from the heart here & hope it gets to whoever needs it. -- i genuinely have no problem w u. or, at least, i've rly tried not to have a problem w u. i do admit i get nervous - paranoid - u talk about me to others when we share the same space, which leads me to looking. but in no way have i been going out of my way to do anything to u to cause u harm. i honestly was starting to get space from the whole situation, until last year. the whole digi journaling thing. i get u were attemping to make me feel bad by doing it, like genuinely i get the thought process, but i don't at all understand how u thought that could help the situation? it felt like u were purposely doing things to get a rise out of me, which i think is true, but then it rly hurt to feel like i have to stay silent & take the punishment. tbh, hate me all u want for saying this, but i rly don't think it needed to be that serious. especially when, again, i wasn't even actively doing anything. i was, & still am, trying to find things to differentiate me just so u won't make these accusations. that's why i found digi journaling as a hobby. u were even doing it w kpop too - like it was something to use against me. idk ... i just don't exactly think it's fair to call me things when u ended up just doing the same thing. i mean ... i even saw u steal someone's art.

as kind as i want to be rn, i also have to admit: i don't believe u are the person u say to be online either. there are things u also have morphed urself into in a way to seek validation. i've seen it in the way u trace ur art, steal art from others, or even just pick up on online trends & fads. i'm not here to judge u for those things necessarily, but simply to point out neither of us are perfect people. i don't believe ur authenticity is as real as u try to make it be. but that's just exactly what we're doing though, isn't it? watching each other from afar & making assumptions w/out ever actually directly talking? i'm simply pointing out the obvious here, & it's that we both hold each other in this cycle. neither of us can leave the other alone which leads to assuming things & having these reactive episodes. & all i can say is - i'm tired. i'm tired of letting u hold power over me, almost like i'm a toy to play with. i'm tired of feeling like i can't do anything w/out it leading back to u or feeling like i have to live the rest of my life in punishment. i'm sorry for what i did to u those years ago. however, u have to also let me go if u want any of this to end. so ... i am going to do what needs to be done.

u can have bsky, twitter, pinterest, instagram - have it all. i'm breaking us of this cycle. i don't want to be in these online spaces anymore that encourage ppl to be the worst versions of themselves. honestly, i'm 28 yrs old, & i just think it's silly to get caught up in copy cat accusations & partake in mean girl behavior at this age. i know i can live my life w/out needing internet validation & instead engage with things that make me happy simply because they make me happy. i don't need my life picked apart anymore & i will no longer pick urs apart either. i will stand on business, though, & make this corner of the internet the best place it can be for me. i believe i blocked ur sites, but if u have somehow bypassed that & see this (which i'm assuming u will), then this only further proves my entire point here. but i will no longer let any of this hold power over me. u can do whatever u want, say whatever u want, but i make a vow today to not engage any further with this. anything from here on out are only 100% assumptions made about me & at that point, i simply encourage u to reach out to me so we can work through it.

i had more to say, but i think i will just end it here. i'm going to improve my life, & if abandoning socials to focus on that & break us of this cycle accomplishes that, then so be it. i'd rather be the one to say i walked away from it & did what needed to be done than play any more roles in this. i don't rly have any well wishes. just that i hope u don't see this as a threat as well. if u must, consider it the white flag. ur "win". idk. but i'd rather live a life of freedom & peace than feeling shackled to social media. that's it. the end.

september 10 - september 14 (8:30pm)

omfg i spent allllll day redoing this god forsaken page again !! i'm so TIRED !!!! it's looking muchhhh better tho, & i'm finally starting to dig the formatting of each blog post hehe. the way i ended up just passing out last nite too instead of finishing this entry ... anyways LOL hiii me again :3 i have some rly fun news!

I GOT A NEW JOB!! +++ QUIT MY CURRENT JOB YAYYYYY :DD god it's so crazy how quick of a turn around it was! i'm now going to be working at a spa as a spa coordinator ^w^ i was a littleeee scared at first bc it's not a normal spa - it's an iv bar. which i hadn't rly heard of one before ... so i was kinda worried it could be a scam job or something. but after talking with the manager it sounds like it's gonna be an interesting place to work at + also super calming ❤︎ i'm rly excited to be getting out of the food industry. i think i'll miss my current job a lot + it'll be quite a change to my routine. but i feel like i've done soo much work on myself over the past year that i can tackle this head on w/out having a nervous breakdown.

1 / 3

apple picking!

2 / 3

apple tree :3

3 / 3

raspberries!

❮ ❯

okeee literally soo much to catch u up on bloggy hehe :D first, wifey & i went apple picking! & raspberry picking too ;p it was suchhh a perfect day for it. probs our last rly hot day for the yr ... some of the trees were def pretty picked over, but that's oke, we still got some good ones so we can make a yummy tart. the bees were sooo bad tho omg & i'm pretty sure i got stung by one or two >.< my mistake for wearing yellow to an apple orchard i guess !! u can kinda see da red spot on my stomach in the pic on slide 1 ... rahhh. after that, we went & picked some raspberries too :3 i don't rly like raspberries but wifey does + they can also bake another pastry w them. rahh it was sooo hot. i was kinda dyin. after raspberries, we also went to the lil store & got hard cider + a lil sparkling non alcoholic apple cider. my fave part about fall is defff apple cider + hard cider ❤︎ i hope this yr i can do thanksgiving w my dad again so i can make more mimosas w apple cider. oh & i luv apple cider donuts! i didn't get any this time cuz i know we'll be back soon for pumpkins anyway.

friday i had my interview for the spa ^w^ literally sooo relieved i got it !! ngl i was rly rly eager to gtfo from my current job. everyday was rly, rly starting to drag. i sent in my 2 week notice as soon as i got in lmfao xp & then !!! my coworkers invited me out :D !! YAYAYAYAYAY!! ahhh it was soo fun to hang out w all of them ^w^ one of them bought me drinks hehe. oh wowies i ended up drinking wayyy to much tho. & then when i got home it was hard to fall asleep so i didn't until like 5 am >.< ermmm & then i had to be up for work by 1 pm ... so ya it was a very rough day LOL x__x i made it through somehow tho ... & yes i am v v checked out from work, like i do not care at allll right now. what are they gonna do ... fire me?

yesterday i was still sooo dead from my hangover LOLZ xD ended up having to take some time trying to get the graphics drivers on my pc to update + install as well. but once i did that, i was able to play some mistria. one thing i'm rly excited about for my new job is coming home not feeling sooo exhausted all the time. i hope i'll finally have energy to do more hobbies! & then today, i took my mom to her dr appointment - so i just spent loootsss of time in the car. i think for the rest of the nite im gonna relax, get some more coding done, & ermm ... well idk what else LOL but just know i WILL be relaxing!!! goob nite bloggy ‎ . ݁⋆ ۶ৎ ݁˖ . ݁

wednesday september 9, 2026 (11:10pm)

MOOD: exhausted + excited

LISTENING TO: fake fake, psychotropic! ; gumi

DRINKING: wild berry whiteclaw (ew)

CURRENTLY: vibing + girlblogging :3

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

wowweeee hai bloggy!!! took me 5everrrr to format this LOL & idk if i still like it ... oh well tho. im exhausted >_< loooong day today. first, i applied to some jobs! i'm not confident i'll rly hear back about any, but still, it was good to just Do The Thing. tomorrow i wanna try spending Some time looking at schooling options. i desperately need out of the fucking service industry man !!!

had work todayyy :/ i was dreading it sooo bad after how poorly last wednesday was !! i can tell that my manager is still Mad at me or whatevz for standing up for myself, but i rly rly don't gaf!!! it was a much easier day, though. thankfully it wasn't rly that busy & i was able to get a lot done. it was such a struggle at first. all i could think about is how badlyyy i wanna quit & do something else. but then i wonder, will i truly be happy doing anything?. sometimes it rly doesn't feel like it. & then i get some down on myself, bc truly, all i want is to do Nothing. doing nothing would make me so so happy. but then it's like, i do nothing, & i feel horrible :/ so rly let's just all kill ourselves LOL xpp (not actually .... i guess)

at least i made some good monies today :3 & made lots of fun plans for tomorrow on my day off!! first, gonna refresh my pink hair ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ then wifey & i are gonna go apple picking YAYYYY!! for dinz, we're gonna get korean bbq, which i am soooo excited for cuz our fave place has been closed for the longest time :(( & then my bestie + i are gonna go out for dwinks!! i'm so exciteddd. it's been rly nice filling my days with activities instead of being so glued to my phone all the damn time. my brain feels less like mush when i don't spend all my time doomscrolling. i'm opening myself up for so many hobbies too + watching a lot of media :3 wifey & i are already on season 2 of daredevil: born again :DD it's such a good show holy shit ...

ok i rly should sleep soon so i don't wake up late tomorrow >.< goob nite bloggy! let's hope for a good day tomorrow ❤︎

sunday september 06, 2025 (10:40pm)

wowieee what a dayyy >_< i slept in for a whileeee cuz i was p sleepy after last nite xp passed out soo hard i didn't even realize my pc turned itself off while i had on cartoons LOLL. had work this morning & goddd i was dreading it soo bad. & for good reason too!!! cuz when i got in my coworker caught me up on more bullshit that's going on. ya this literally only solidifies my decision to go back to school & get the fuck out of Hereeeee !!!! like i can't believe i even put up with this. but of course the thought of getting a big girl job kinda terrifies me so ... whatevz we push thru!!! thankfully the shift ended up being chill for the most part. got out a few min early & took myself to the store for some dinz.

just been relaxing for the rest of the nite ^.^ kinda too tired to do much ... i wanted to revamp this page some more & create a layout for my blog posts buttt i guess that'll wait till later this week LOL cx im kinda slacking on work duties ... but also i don't rly feel like doing this shit for free so ?? i played some mistria for a bit & tried out love is blind. tbh im kinda bored? idk all of them just talking to each other is kinda a snooze fest. hopefully it gets better when they actually meet each other. otherwise, smosh's love is blind game is muchhh more entertaining than this bahahah xpp

work tomorrowwww morning ugh ... but after im gonna go to my dad's for dinner! i'll try to actually take some pics to share here hehe >,< i'm gonna talk to him about going back to school. if i'm lucky, maybe i'll offer to help me pay for some of it ... lolz. otherwise i think i could also ask my grandmother as well! we'll see what he says tho. then i have to work up the courage to talk to work rahhhh. it's not like i'm gonna quit but ... i def won't rly have time for all these shenanigans if i'm doing online courses. oh well!! i'll do my best tomorrow & hopefully it'll be a good day. goob nite bloggy!!!

saturday september 05, 2026 (10:00pm)

yayy had day off from work ︎૮꒰ ˊᗜˋ ꒱ა!! wifey & i made it to the farmers market :3 we picked up basil for my work + some flowers for my coworker hehe. i luv the farmers market but it is always sooo damn busy & everyone walks so damn slow lmfao. i can only stand it for so long ... they were also setting up for some festival as well so some of the vendors i was looking for weren't even there - i think cuz of that. went over to my work then & dropped everything off - then we got pizzaaaa !!! & yummy drinky hehe :3 i was sooo sleepy after i desperately needed a nap. the a/c just went out in the house so it is p toasty in here ... RAHHHH !!! ://

been thinking lotzzz over the past few days & i think i wanna go back to school for web development. i desperately need to get out of the service industry. it burns me out soo bad >< i struggle so bad when ppl make my life difficult & it feels like i'm always fighting w owners or management to make things better. it just rly scares me to even think about putting myself out there & do a Big Girl job. i know i could be capable of it if i just set my mind to it ... so i'm rly trying to lock in. less socials, less doomscrolling, & doing things like building my website. i kinda wanna talk to dad first before i officially enroll in classes, but idk maybe i just need to bite the bullet ... sooo much monies tho :/

going back to my roots tonite by coding & listening to vocaloid hehe ^w^ im rly enjoying this & i feel like i've learned a lot in the past few days i've been so focused! my home page is looking much more unique & i'm excited about this page as well. it's taking me a bit longer to get everything together for it, but i think the beauty in this is seeing it grow over time. i feel like i always need to be perfect at everything right away, when truly, showing progress in something & getting better over time is a lot more authentic. i don't need to pretend like im perfect at everything bc being a human & learning new things is so beautiful :D i also don't care if ppl will judge me for this. i'm rly done caring so much about others - with as much luv as possible lolz. i just gotta put me first !!!

work tomorrowww :// i hope it's an easy day lol. i rly wish i could stay home & do hobbies all day! i'm dying to play some mistria - i've just been soo busy trying to build this site. maybe i'll get some play time in tonite, but i'm not so sure cx anywayzzz, goob nite bloggy !!!꒰ꕤᐢฅ́˘ฅ̀ᐢ ꒱

thursday september 03, 2026 (10:30pm)

mood: content :3 song: batter up ~ babymonster drinking: mango whiteclaw ^w^

yippieeee finally a day off today :3 altho i woke up w the worsttttt migraine ugh :/ hurt in my face & my left eye ... probs cuz it thunderstormed. which is exactly why i hate the rain LOL it's not good to ppl w chronic pain !!! i took some pain medicine & slept it off. then, of course, had to fight w my coworkers over slack about dumb shit but whatevzzzz i said my peace & left it at that! i was rly determined to not let it ruin my day completely.

i've been very media-pilled lately which makes me sooo happy :DD i recently re-discovered my love for marvel bc i watched thunderbolts again back in july & wowie i forgot how GOOD of a movie it is!! & just how much i luv the characters hehe ♡ so now almost everything i watch - if it's not smosh - is something marvel related cx i recently finished watching all of she-hulk, which i can't wait to write a review for on here! & then i started watching daredevil: born again. i've found it's a lot better for me to just dive into media so that i don't freak myself out w doomscrolling or checking up on past connections. today wifey & i saw coyote vs acme ! uhm what the actual heck it was SO GOOD :D i knew it would be but like wowie i even cried during it ... the road runner thinking of coyote as a friend was rly rly sweet. kinda made me rly miss my granpda cuz we would always watch looney toones together when i was at his house. i knew he would have luvd this movie, & i'm gonna visit him this month for his bday, so i can't wait to tell him about it ^w^

trying my best to heal & get thru everyday. today was hard but i'm always going to be so proud of myself for standing up for myself. sure, my coworkers may hate me & think i'm mean & don't wanna be my friend, but i try so hard to take my dad's advice & let work be work. as much as i would luv to be friends w everyone all the time, it's simply not going to be possible. i try my best to remind myself that i speak up so much bc i care so deeply. all i want is for this to be the perfect place for ppl to work. cuz all i want is the perfect job:/ & honestly if ppl wanna hate me simply bc i'm telling them to do their jobs better - so be it !!! i pray i only have to do another yr of this & then i can finally become a housewife, or at least work someplace where i can do only a couple shifts a week.

not much else from meeee - probs gonna smoke soon & get ready for bed. i'm nervous for work tomorrow but i trust myself & i can get thru anything. goob nite bloggy, i wub u sm ♡